I feel the need to weigh in on the responses to the proposed ban on social media for under-16s.

Online conduct has been a key part of my work dating back to 2007, when I launched the first cyberbullying campaign for respectme, it was called ‘Don’t Disconnect, Connect’. This was to address the fear and panic parents had around online bullying and safety, and the tendency just to unplug things – that’s how long ago that was. The next campaign, ‘She’s still going somewhere’, was based on all the listening we had been doing to young people and parents/carers.

This was built on the premise that we need to see the internet as a place, not a thing. A social space where children and young people go. Like most social spaces, some of it is magic, and other bits were not built for someone your age; they are risky, dangerous even. The message was: just because your child is still in the house, when they go online, you need to know where they are going and who with. And what to do if there is a problem.

These messages have aged quite well and have underpinned policy and campaigning beyond Scotland.

However, both were before the smartphone revolution, before children had them in their hands with lightning-fast internet. The impact this has had has been enormous – the data is in, the research has been done, and this 2010-2015 impact of smartphones on the hands of children is now well documented and deeply concerning. (read The Anxious Generation, or Gen i)

In response to this, all manner of campaigning and blogging has taken place, many feeling they know exactly what to do, and many feeling that because the genie was out of the bottle, it’s too late.

So, in typical UK Government fashion, they found a middle ground that doesn’t please everyone.

I support the ban, to be honest. There was a time when I was unsure of this and rooted in the belief and experience that most young people know what they’re doing. However, my confidence is shaken by the fact that social media companies also know and knew what they were doing. To hook kids, to use the psychology of addiction and gaming to reel them in. I can now say with some confidence that social media is, in fact, harmful and is changing the childhoods and experiences of not one but now two generations.

Anxiety in teens? Up
Depression in teens? Up
Self-identifying mental health issues? Way up
Isolation? Up
Loneliness? Up

Before you get to screens that tell your brain to stop producing melatonin and the impact on sleep, then the ripple effect this has on mood and attention span during the day.

Anyone who has worked with or has a child with ASD knows that a tablet, a Chromebook or a phone can occupy them, but it is like kryptonite as well. They can get lost in it, the constant dopamine bursts and the ability to change anything you don’t like quickly, is causing mayhem in classrooms and homes.

Body image, bombarded with images of perfection and success, selling this unattainable lifestyle as attainable if you follow me, buy this crypto and so on. I talk to girls, for example, aged 11-14. I ask if you put a picture on Insta, and you like it, but no one likes or comments, 45 minutes pass, nothing, what would you do? They all say the same thing: delete it.

Every absent ‘like’ is a ‘dislike’, every absent comment is an insult. The impacts of this on the mental health and well-being of our young people are very concerning.

So, is a ban on social media the answer?

I, like many others, argued for a long time that the answer was not to ban it but make it safer; however, as always, the proof of the pudding is in the eating – Meta, X, Snapchat – they genuinely are not invested in children’s safety – they are actively pursuing children’s data, habits and likes to target them and sell this data on. They’ve never taken parental controls and teen behaviour seriously; it’s too big a market for them.

But a ban is now a necessary step. The impact of social media on our children is not positive; it’s harmful.

But for me, the issue goes beyond social media – if I could implement one thing to make things better?

Get smartphones out of the hands of younger children.

If you need to contact them, get them a Nokia 3310. Schools, especially primary, should be phone-free.

They do not need smartphones; children managed well without them for generations. And I include tablets and iPads in that as well. I get asked weekly by parents in primary school, ‘What age should I get them a smartphone?’, and I say, ‘ At the end of P7’.

The biggest link to the steep decline is wellbeing, confidence and ability are as linked to the device as it is the social media.

That would be my campaign, to de-normalise giving your P3 child your old smartphone. Handing over an iPad to occupy them.

A couple of things have been very concerning, though – firstly, the response on X, by adults who, if Starmer said the sky is blue, they’d tell him it’s yellow – or the make it about illegal immigration – yes, that is currently happening on X.

It really has become a swamp of adults modelling the worst behaviour, extremism, racism, prejudice and hate is standard. I have reported users for using the ‘n’ word, only to be told it doesn’t violate their terms.

It’s the last place to discuss this – I might put this out on Twitter just for the reactions.

Lastly, let the parents parent, this is a bit contentious – my first response to this is clear – we did, and we made a right mess of it, don’t believe me, look at the results. Look at the overall impact on Western young people; it’s alarmingly similar everywhere.

I meet parents and carers who take this very seriously but are fighting a losing battle; we need to take some steps to help with this. The pressure from other parents, to have phones and devices, to be playing 18 games, to have every app, is enormous.

As I said, for me, getting smartphones and tablets out of their hands is the first step. Parents have to teach children to cross the road, brush their teeth, tie their laces, what to do if your friend doesn’t want to play with you – although some seem to feel this is the school’s job now – and also, how to deal with friends online, how to be safe online -that’s our job as parents. But we live in an age where some, not all, expect children to just figure this out; they don’t. We need to teach them these skills.

I talk to children and young people about this every week, every week. And every week I ask about group chat and time on their phones, I ask them to compare this to their parents, the response is always the same –
My mum and dad are never off their phones
If you think our groupchat is bad, you should see the parents one for this class

The genie is indeed out of the bottle, and many of our young people are addicted to it – we need national action, not just lessons in school on safe use. So yeah, a ban is a good start, but we need to seriously look at the normalisation of giving 6&7 year olds smartphones and making it clear, you don’t bring it to school.

Brian Donnelly